Ok, get ready I am going to tip a sacred cow. Ready? Here it goes… Being a mom doesn’t fulfill me. I know I said it. I said something that a lot of women look down upon. It’s not that they think they are better than me for not saying it, it’s that a lot of women still have a stigma that they should find complete fulfillment in life by being a mother.
Let’s think about this for a moment, if you look back at all of history you see that a woman’s glory is in childbearing and rearing. Women in the Bible and history who were barren were considered cursed; back then there wasn’t many career choices for them either. Then you take a look at our own countries history and you see the typical “housewife”, you know the one. She is wearing an apron and a cute 1950’s dress and heels, she has a kid or two around her ankle and holding out a nice hot plate of dinner in one hand and a broom in the other; all while wearing the biggest smile and looking gorgeous. Then we move forward to todays mother. And well there are those who chose to go back to work for whatever reason, then there is a crazy amount of stay at home moms turned bloggers… I know I’m one of them. You see them on Pinterest, they have the cutest outfits, look like they spend every waking moment at the gym, make incredible Paleo or Vegan meals for everyone in their family, have their houses organized to a ‘T’ all while having enough time to instagram and blog their success.
Then there’s reality… you're tired, you haven’t showered in days, you’ve worn the same yoga pants for at least two of those days (with every intention to go to the gym but never made it), you picked up Pizza for dinner, because grocery shopping wore you out and you can’t wait until your husband gets home so you can hand him the kids and take that much needed shower or wander the aisles at Target kid-free. Or maybe you're a working mom and you juggle a job plus everything else I’ve explained. Both ways you find yourself secretly wishing for a Hawaiian vacation that didn’t include children. Just you and a pina colada in hand. Deep down there's a haunting thought… what if there is more to me then this. I love my kids but is this it? Is my season of life right now just diapers and babies?
Now this isn't at all meant to downplay the importance and significance of motherhood. Being a mother has alway been one my greatest dreams and joys, but a mother is not 'ALL' that I am. And I believe every woman has some enjoyment other then children. Maybe yours is, helping people, teaching, painting, writing or singing; ask yourself what makes you come alive?
I have two kiddos very close together and to some outsiders I can seem to be overwhelmed and outnumbered. But often times I’ve got it under control and don’t feel bad at all. During one of these times I had a mother who had quite a lot more kids than me, come up to me and with such sweetness and compassion tell me that this was just my season right now. And one day I’ll get back to my dreams that I’ve put on hold. In the moment I thanked her, but knew that couldn’t be further from the truth.
During this season in life I have never pursued my dreams so passionately. Right now in what people may seem as the time I just put my life on hold and raise my children. I am actually living out some of my lifelong dreams. Now that mother, had every good intention to encourage me. However, had I not been secure in who I was, I would have felt discouraged. That the season of diapers and child rearing could last for 18 years or longer! Am I just suppose to put my dreams on hold until then! I know without a shadow of a doubt that is not true.
Now I’m not saying it’s easy. There are times I’d rather be sleeping then writing. But I know that it’s what I am suppose to do. Does my life look Pinterest perfect? Absolutely not, right now I am staring at a pile of laundry and toys scattered on my floor. Did I mention I haven’t slept? I’m not saying this so you can feel sorry for me, I’m saying this so you can be encouraged. Pursuing your dreams is hard work, especially as a mother. This doesn’t give you the freedom to forget about your responsibilities. But what this does give you, is freedom to dream! Freedom to let the clothes pile up for a day or to order that pizza so you can sit down for 30 min and dream about what is burning inside of you. It’s okay mom, you can admit to yourself that you are made for more. It’s okay for you to know that your life is not over, you can want to be ‘More than a Mom.’
What could you do today that helps fulfill a dream? I'd love to hear your ideas on how you accomplish time for yourself.